#2: Would you rather

It’s T20 cricket season with the Ram Slam and the Proteas tour of Australia, so this week’s would you rather is all about big hitters.

T20 cricket is about all about the boom boom boom! It has nothing to do with the Venga Boys, although some of the hits are about as big as those produced by the iconic Dutch eurodance/dance-pop group in the late 90s.

The trick in T20 cricket is to get as many runs as possible in a short space of time…obviously (in a Vernon Philander voice). The best way to do that is to clear the ropes…obviously.

Here’s a quick scenario. You have been kidnapped by the cricketing mafia and you are being forced to walk the plank off the grandstand of the MCG. You are told that you get to pick one batsman who will bat for your life with the simple task of hitting Dale Steyn back over his pip for six. You are given the following three options to chose from and fortunately for you, I am not one of them.

1. Phil Tufnell – 59 innings, 154 runs, average 5.10 (in Test matches)

The cat is a legend, but not for his batting. He once scored a first-class half century, however the former Middlesex great will be the first to admit that batting was not his strong point. He might get a couple off the outside edge, but there is more chance of Dale Steyn making Michael Clarke his Best Man than there is of Tuffers clearing the pickets.

2. Pommie Mbangwa – 25 innings, 34 runs, average 2.00 (in Test matches)

We all love Pommie. He seems a great bloke on camera and he regularly entertains us behind the mic. Sadly his batting does not leave much to the imagination…at all. He has hit a six in an ODI before so he might not be a bad bet.

3. Chris Martin – 104 innings, 123 runs, average 2.36 (in Test matches)

One word to describe Martin’s batting: comical. The most entertaining batsman to watch without a shadow of a doubt, Martin was widely regarded as the worst batsman in the world. Often referred to as the ‘Walking Wicket’, getting Martin out was as “difficult as making a cup of tea and often took less time” according to Cricinfo. He only passed double figures for the first time in his 34th Test and hit just 15 fours in his career.


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