It’s awards season in Hollywood, so it’s time to move from the NekNominations to the Kill’s Corner Grammy Nominations as we take a look at the sportsmen who’ve been making a noise lately.
The real Grammy’s have come and gone, but the world of entertainment seems more fixated on the nominees of the Kill’s Corner awards with several top sportsmen in contention. The Parody Song of the Year is rumoured to be the most coveted title in sport along side the Webb Ellis Cup. The other three categories, Best Album, Worst Song and Best Song, all carry high prestige and will have your favourite stars watching their Twitter feeds more carefully than the FBI watches Al-Qaeda, to see if their name pops up.
Due to the time of year, many of the nominees are cricketers with a large number of rugby players still on sabbatical from the music industry to focus on their game in the offseason.
I would like to take this opportunity to thank the very lyrical Nick Tatham for coming up with some of these catchy tunes. Your endeavours to cricket’s music industry do not go unnoticed and the hours spent singing to yourself on the couch will bare fruit sooner or later.
Parody Song of the Year:
“Living next door to Kallis” by Graeme Smith
(To the tune of Living next door to Alice)
Smith’s remake of the Smokie classic echoed across the dance floors of New Years parties across the country. Released on the eve of Jacques Kallis’ final day of Test cricket, the South African captain’s song tugged on the heart strings as well as the purse strings, going platinum before the midnight countdown on 31 January. The song about his slip fielding partner is somewhat infectious and is expected to be a stadium anthem during the Aussie tour.
Click here for the lyrics to ‘Living next door to Kallis’
“Hansie a bad moon rising” by the Australian Cricket Team
(To the tune of Bad moon rising)
After failed attempts at media manipulation and sledging, the Aussies turned to song as a method of torment and mind games ahead of their Test series with South Africa. Led by captain and lead singer Michael Clarke, this Creedance Clearwater Revival track has been remodeled in a very Barmy Army type way to try get under the South African’s skins. Whilst the song has not achieved world wide recognition, with bans on the song in South Africa and England, the critics are in awe of the lyrical brilliance and significance to the meaning of the song.
“Baby there’s a Starc in the water” by the IPL
(To the tune of Shark in the Water)
The song that has been dominating the Indian charts was released late January. The song was used to create hype around the auction, choosing to focus on Australian fast bowler and bastard of Winterfell, Mitchell Starc, who after withdrawing from last year’s event opted to throw his name into the hat in 2014. It’s trumoured (a true rumour) that Starc himself will be performing the chart topper at the opening ceremony with former IPL frontline acts Bryan Adams and Katy Perry on guitar and back up vocals respectively.
“I see you baby, Shikhar Dhawan” by the BCCI
(To the tune of I see you baby (Shakin’ that Ass))
In honour of his achievements at the ICC Champions Trophy, the BCCI released this deep house beat about opening batsman Shikhar Dhawan who caught the world’s attention with his swashbuckling strokeplay and Wild West like mustache. The song was one of two BCCI tracks from the Champions Trophy album that made the Kill’s Corner Grammy Awards longlist of nominations, with the Metro Station remake of ‘Shake, shake, shake, Shikhar Dhawan’ narrowly missing out on making the cut.
“If I could Dernbach the hands of time” by Andy Flower
(To the tune of If I could turn back the hands of time)
Andy Flower’s dark and lonesome love song was the most played song on British radio in the first week of February. His R.Kelly remake told a sad tale of how the former English cricket director wished he could have done things differently during his time with the team. The release coincided with his sacking from the England job, a tactic wish saw sales soaring higher than the Australian’s run rate in the T20s.
*Credit for this one must go to the guys at Alternative Cricket, who are without a doubt some of the funniest and most satyrical cricket blokes I’ve ever come across. Give them a follow on Twitter here.
Mitchell Johnson is up for two nominations for Best Song and Best Album. However, it is believed that he will be pipped by Ben Smith and the ECB. Smith turned his swag on in 2013 with his debut single “Pretty fly for a white guy” which has scored rave reviews the world over. The ECB’s Ashes album Black & Blue, inspired by the Backstreet Boys 2000 album of the same name, has received critical acclaim for its emotional and moving tales of their batsmen’s dealings with short pitched bowling. In spite of their shocking remake of the Journey classic “Don’t stop believing” which flopped back home in the UK, the album has sold very well in the rest of the world and in particular in Australia. The front runner for worst song of the year seems to be the Irish rugby team’s “Too late to score a try” which was first heard at half time of their 2013 November Test match against New Zealand.
- “Pretty fly for a white guy” – by Ben Smith
- “Wrecking ball” – by Mitchell Johnson
- “Blow my whistle” – by Craig Joubert
Worst Song of the Year
- “Too late to score a try” – by the Irish rugby team (To the tune of Apologize)
- “Where is the glove? (the DRS song)” – by the ICC umpires (To the tune of Where is the Love?)
- “Don’t stop believing” – by the England Cricket Board
Album of the Year
- “Black & Blue” – by the England Cricket Board
- “Sound of Chin Music” – by Mitch and the Baggy Greens*
*(Courtesy of @notdavidwarner)